Last Post Until the New Year

Note: Since I like to blog on Monday's (mostly), this is probably my last post until the New Year, as Christmas eve and New Years eve will probably super hectic.

So, I’d like to blog a little about realism today. . . Scary subject-I know-but one worth talking about. While I have studied and attainted a suitable amount of knowledge on the subject of fitness and health—there seems to be a ginormous gulf between the world of academia and reality! The scholar in me knows that in order to lose weight or even just maintain a healthy state it is important to eat right and exercise---but the reality of my actions often do not coincide with this school of thought. No, this isn’t another beat myself up about screwing up blog, this just a “hey, I’m not so perfect, but at least I try,” blog.

I have looked back at few of my previous posts and have realized that though I have committed my self in writing, I have yet to FULLY commit myself in reality. Sure I go to the gym—not as often as I know I should—and when I do go I bust my butt—but is that really enough to validate my commitment to lose weight and be healthier? Not really. I guess it’s the just the holiday season…It entices you to be naughty and enjoy in excess all the yummy goodies that are so affluently being thrust upon you (it doesn’t help either that I make them) And at this time of year people are very forgiving, as they watch you shovel spoonfuls of once forbidden delights into your mouth…they are forgiving because they too are guilty of the act.

(Here's an interesting article--if you're bored it's called How to survive the holidays like a hot chick http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jodi-lipper-and-cerina-vincent/how-to-survive-the-holida_b_74630.html)

Last week I made it to the gym ONCE and only did hourly exercises half of the day each day last week (that’s only 4 sessions)---the green suiters (soldiers) in my office are on half day schedules. Furthermore, the last time I stepped on a scale it read 188lbs. I just want to stay below 200lbs at this point; which I’m sure I’ll be able to do, after all I am still exercising somewhat. I have decided that I’m going to do what “laura” does: make monthly goals.
This month I’d like to stay below 190lbs. Then from there I think losing four pounds a month is not too much to ask of my self.

The reality of my situation is that I have to marry my enthusiasm with my actual actions. It’s just not enough to be super motivated about the idea of leading a better lifestyle, but I need to work on the actual implementation portion of my plan. With the New Year right around the corner, I see bright new future headed our way---Good luck to us all. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Working it Out at Work!

So, let’s talk about friendly support groups. In my efforts to attain a healthier life style, I have subjected myself to many torturous “exercise” routines. The latest and greatest torture technique comes at the hands of my fellow esteemed coworkers-my two new least favorite people!!! Just kidding I love my girls. These ladies have devised a plan to keep us all working out throughout the day. The plan is as follows: on the hour EVERY hour we all head in to the conference room to either do squats or calf raises (10 sets of 8 and the pulse for 5 sets of 8.) Sounds simple right?? Sounds uncomplicated?? We let me be the first to assure you that it definitely works!!! OH the PAIN…OH the Burn!!! Yeah….Last week I definitely pissed off each and every single muscle in my my legs and butt!! The sick part of it all is that I loved it!! All three of us were walking around like old decrepit ladies!!! It’s soooo funny!!! We meet in the conference room and shut the door for privacy, none us want the guys (as we are the only females in the office) watching us as we do our squats. So…from behind closed doors all the guys can hear are our cries of joyful agony!! (Which I'm sure elicites all kinds of salacious speculations.) Later, during my lunch hour I will head to the gym with the girls to do some cardio and my ab routine......dear lord I just pray you give me the strength!!!

Butt Buster!

I was surfing the internet to try and find a way to kick up my exercise routine, and I found a number of wonderful tips. My gym routine previously had consisted of running on the elliptical for 30 min to an hour (depending on how much time I had) and then do my balance ball work out. And while this routine works for me (as I hate running) I really felt like I should be seeing greater and faster progress. So I went on-line and low and behold I learned something new about Cardio training! The secret to get the most out of cardio workouts is interval training. Now what does that mean…well it means you got to mix it up every now and again during your cardio work out! Rather than steadily running at one pace for 30 min…try inserting bursts of Sprinting! Here’s what I read:

The best way to burn fat is high intensity interval training (HIIT), especially when combined with high intensity (low rep) weight training and proper nutrition. Interval training burns more calories than aerobics and elevates your metabolism significantly more after you finish exercising, while your metabolic rate recovers back to pre-exercise levels.
In a recent study, researchers Trapp & Boutcher put 45 overweight women through a 15 week study where one group was a control, one group did intervals (20 minutes of eight seconds of sprinting on a bike followed by 12 seconds of recovery at a slower pace), and one group did 40 minutes of aerobics.
The researchers found that the interval group lost an average of 2.5kg in the 15 weeks and the steady-state group gained .5kg. In other words, the interval group lost three times as much fat doing half as much exercise.
These results really speak for themselves!
http://www.ezinearticles.com/?Women-and-Cardio&id=855793

So, I’ve decided that since I like the Elliptical, I'm going to change my work out accordingly:

Strech: 5 min
Warm up: 1min

Moderate pace: 0.89 miles
Fast pace: 0.90 mi – 1.00

Repeat Moderate, Fast pace interval-

Cool Down for 5 min

I also take a drink of water at every half mile point. After all that I go and do my AB routine. I have also decided to incorporate more calisthenics to sculpt my arms legs and butt. Well, people it’s a brand new day!! I’m going to kick things up a notch…hopefully I can sustain it. Here’s an awesome article to help get y’all’s butt in shape for the holidays!

http://www.ezinearticles.com/?Get-A-Tight-Toned-Butt-In-Time-For-The-Holidays-With-These-Great-Exercises&id=856218

Turkey Day After Shocks!

So, it is the Monday after Thanks Giving, and upon rising from my left-over induced slumber, I slumped over to the bathroom to perform the weighing in ritual….***drum roll please*** and the results are in: 185lbs! That’s a gain of 2lbs…now I have a sneaky suspicion that that’s just the start of it! How soon I wonder does it take for fat to form??? The way I ate, I see a couple more pounds being added on before the end of the week!! Okay that’s terribly pessimistic of me. Actually, today is the day I get back on the horse…and get my rear to the gym! I am really looking forward to it. I also am going to tighten up my diet a bit. I’d like to work off enough weight to enjoy my self come the Christmas holidays. Then of course after the Christmas holidays, it’s back in the saddle again.

More interestingly, this Thanks Giving was the first Thanks Giving I have ever hosted + the first Thank Giving in my new home! Oh my goodness I was so nervous! I created a traditional menu, and challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone and cook things other than desserts. My menu consisted of the following:


Herb butter turkey (15 lbs)
G. Bean Casserole
S. Potato Casserole
Cranberry Relish
Pumpkin Bars
Ginger Cranberry Bread
Cayenne Roasted Corn
Corn Bread
Stuffing
Gravy

Spanish Rice (guest prepared)
Potato Salad (guest prepared)
Macaroni Salad (guest prepared)
Pumpkin pie (guest prepared)

The only dishes I had ever made before was the Sweet potato Casserole, the Cranberry Ginger Bread, and Corn Bread. Everything else on the menu—other than the guest prepared dishes-- I had never prepared before. I only had four guests—not including my husband and I; and the smallest turkey I could find was 15lbs!!! I didn’t want to buy frozen so I had to compromise and get the larger bird! To my delight and thanks to watching a weeks worth of Food Network everything turn out great! I had loads of left over as a result of my over grown bird and extensive menu, which I quite happily put in my freezer. I also sent my guests away with plenty of glad-ware containers filled with leftovers so that they may enjoy the delight of Thanks Giving left over’s as well. I hope you all had a very wonderful and safe holiday!

So, there I was...

So, there I was….it was just me, the dog, and NBC’s “The Biggest Loser.” Oh and a TERRIBLE MIGRAIN!! My husband had to pull a late shift, so I was all by my lonesome last night getting my reality T.V. fix. As I watched the show I once again was forced to reflect upon myself. I had to completely acknowledge that I have unequivocally fallen off the wagon.

Who was I kidding---I am eating whatever I want for the most part, and I’m not even pretending to exercise! And the kicker---Thanksgiving is just around the corner---like next week! As I wallowed in my migraine induced misery, I wondered just how much I would probably gain during the upcoming holidays. When I decided to get my butt in gear in the first place I noted that I was one holiday away from 200lbs—not exactly a mile stone I want to reach.
















Today- I’m still not that far off, weighing in at 183lbs. Don’t get me wrong---I’m not depressed about my weight---I happen to think I still look hot---and I am really grateful for the boobs that came along with the extra 40 lbs I am toting around. But honestly I am worried. “WORRIED”--I believe that best describes my feeling in regards to my weight. I really am worried about the associated health problems that go along with being “heavy set” (to put it mildly.)

My Grandfather has Diabetes, my grandmother died of complications due to Heart Disease, my mom has plenty of aches and pains mostly joint issues such as arthritis, and my sister is struggling with fatty liver disease and fertility issues. Not a exactly the future I want to be facing. While every condition I have just mentioned is equally serious, the only one that really shakes me is the fertility issue.

The reality of the situation is that I’m 28 years old, over weight and my biological clock is ticking! The only one that can save me is ME! I totally realize this. It’s just so frustrating, because when I get going I’m pretty darn good. I self motivate, stick to my diet, and take care of business….then something always comes up to throw me off track: LIFE. As I mentioned in my last post, nothing but good things have happened for me, but the cost is evident as I step on the scale (my arch nemesis,) and the reality of the situation becomes ubiquitous. I really need to get my butt in gear!

Life Happens

Well, I've had a few life changes since my last post. Good life changes. First, I bought a new house, then I got a new job, and finally I adopted a puppy boxer! So needless to say amist all of the surrounding circumstances, not to mention I'm pursuing my Master's degree full tim (2 classes at a time) I have not had much time to just blog.

Jeeze Louise! I've been a busy, busy girl! The move took a little while. You just don't realize how much crap one can accumulate!! My husband and I had quite a fair share of it. The hardest part was getting him to decide what needed to be thrown out! It was like pulling teeth to get him to even look through HIS stuff! I guess it stressed him out so much, he made me in charge of all the packing, and he would be in charge of the actual moving a hualing away. The deal worked out for me. I managed to get a lot more done with him out of my hair.

Then there was the new job! Holy crap! This was the opportunity that saved my career! For those that don't know I gave up my career to move to Alaska to be with my husband. Here in Alaska there isn't a very big market for geospatial Imagery analysts/Cartographers. Well, there were positions if you don't mind living out in the middle of nowhere in the artic trying to map glaciers and volcano's. Not exactly my dream job. But now I'm back in the saddle in Anchorage proper! Not an igloo in sight! My old job was awesome---but truth be told I really had no idea of what I was doing (I was a data-base administrator.)

Once we were somewhat settled into our new home, we decided that we needed an addition to our little family. So we adopted a six month old boxer name Emma. I'm going to be perfectly honest, it's not that I don't like pets...I love animals....I hate cleaning up after them! Especially when they poop and pee on my brand new floor in my brand new house!! I was completely and utterly fed up with her after about the the first 2 days! Then my husband calmed me down reminding me that she is just a puppy and will grow out of it eventually. I was to seconds from taking her to the rescue, but my husband starting helping out more, and she really is just as cute as a button!!!

So anyway, that's what's beeen going on with me lately. Since all this began I gave up my gym routine....but I'm happy to report I have not gained any weight---nor have I lost any. I fully intend to get back into the swing of things. My new Co-worker and friend Pam have been sporadically going to the gym since I started working at the new job. Once our schedules settle down, we fully intend on regulating a work out regimen. Well that's all for now, I wish nothing but the best for you all in your own personal endeavors!

WASH YOUR SHEETS!

Update: 182.6 lbs

So I have been making it a habit to do my official weigh in's in the morning, as I quite astutely noticed that I happened to weigh less right when I got up. But then I started to wonder why? Immeadiately, I gathered that it must be because I had an empty stomach and bladder (weighed myself after my morning ritual of course), but could that really explain a five pound difference between my night weight and my morning weight? Well, as it turns out ladies and gentlemen, there is a much more horrifying reason for the disparity in weight. Viewer dicresction is now advised, as I reveal to you the secret behind the difference:

When you weigh yourself in the evening and then again the next morning, you may notice a disparity in the reading you get. Weight losses include any urine or other body wastes, plus the things that are less obvious. The normal daily urine loss at normal temperature is approximately 1400 ml/day or approximately 3.3 pounds. When your body converts food materials to energy, CO2 and water vapor are released to the blood stream that ultimately may leave through the lungs. Water lost through the lungs amounts to approximately 350 ml/day at normal temperatures or approximately 3/4 pound. The skin loses another 350 ml/day to insensible perspiration (that which you do not notice as liquid water but evaporates directly into the air). The sweat you do notice as liquid is lost at a rate in proportion to the surrounding temperature and the level of activity. Normal temeprature with little activity can produce approximately 100 ml/day this way while under prolonged heavy exercise this number may go up to 5000 ml/day or 11 pounds. The daily totals for water loss during a normal day add up to between 2400 and 6700 ml/day or from between about 6 to about 15 pounds per day. If 1/3 of this occurs at night, the body weight loss could be in the range of 2 to 3 pounds.

So, what does all this mean??? Where does all this weight loss go....you know the stuff that doesn't evaporate??? IT GOES IN YOUR BEDDING!!!!

YUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKYYYYYY!!!!

Check in #8

183 lbs and holding...the brevity of this entry should clue you in to how a feel about it. :(

6 miles a day + 1300 cal diet = zero weight loss

Needless to say I'm a little upset.

Oh well, hopefully this week will be better!!

Good luck to everyone, and I pray that you guys faired better than I last week.!

Bi-Weekly Check-In's

Well, as some of you may have noticed I didn't post my week 8 check in....That's because it's depressing. So instead I have decided to post check in's every two weeks! That way when I report (hopefully) a two pound decrease it will look more sensational than it actually is!!! Yep....that's my plan.

My diet is going great. I limited myself to about 1200-1300 calories a day, and I run the eliptical for at least an hour burning about 600 calories (Ali calculates it at around 704 cals). At first it was kind of tough, but once my toes go numb it's smooth sailing!! On average I go for about 6 miles, it's crazy!!!! I'm go for 6 miles!!! I just can't believe it! I never thought it was possible!! I hate running...ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. But here I find myself (on the eliptical) imagining I running a marathon or running along some beautiful country side. I also find that when I'm done with my hour I still feel as if I can go further (unfortunatley, I can only spare an hour during the work day), and I don't even feel like I'm gonna die---which how I used to feel after ten minutes of running. It's completely surreal. Well, that's all for now. I'll probably write more later this week. Good luck to all!

Zombie Days!

So today I woke up, feeling alright. I haven’t been sleeping very well lately for reasons unknown, but today I actually didn’t feel like a zombie. Then, like at some point during the time between my morning shower and the drive to work, all the energy I thought I had was sucked out of me! I was so tired that I didn’t even feel like speeding! (Side note: I usually drive around 75mph on the highway to get to work; today I went a lawful 65mph)

When I arrived at work, I immediately set out to prepare my breakfast: instant oatmeal! YUM-O! I was starving, and oatmeal always does the trick, and it’s only 200 calories per bowl (1 cup). Now, you’d think that eating a nice hearty bowl of oatmeal would add fuel to the fire (or in my case smoldering embers,) but it didn’t. I kept yawning from about 0730 to 0845. Even my co-workers were getting annoyed by it. So, I decided it was time to move around. I headed out to the gym.

I swear to you I almost fell asleep on the 3 minute drive it takes to get there! All the while arguing with myself, the whiner in my mind exclaimed: “But I’m sooooo tired, and really sore from yesterday’s work out! Couldn’t I just take one day off! How ‘bout I just sit in the steam room—I’ll still manage to burn some calories!” And it went on and on, all these thoughts of cheating! And then wouldn’t you know it the small contrary voice in my mind ---you know that little whisper voice of good judgment—piped in with, “You know you’ll just be cheating on yourself.” And wouldn’t you know it the whiner in mind head (who has a loud penetrating voice) said, “And I’m okay with that—the whole cheating on myself thing—it’s cool.”

So there I was driving, having the full out argument with myself when I arrived at the gym. I parked the car and sluggishly got out. The small portion of my mind not engaged in the argument (the voice of compromise) decided that today would be a light work out day! And then all at once there was silence in my mind. The whiner in me then begrudging said, “Well, I guess I can handle that…” and then the voice of good judgment piped up again with, “well, at least you are going to do something, and you’ll feel better for it.” Content with my decision, I walked into the gym, and headed for the women’s locker room.

Once inside I went straight to my usual locker, as I undressed I reflected on how annoying the gym music being broadcast through out the facility was. It wasn’t bad music, just the SAME songs over and over every day!! If I have to hear Carrie Under wood’s “Before he cheats” one more time!!!! Uggg! I suspected that my bad mood was on account that I really felt drained. As I approached the elliptical machine, I noticed I was the only one in the room…the whiner slipped in, “there’s still time to escape, no one will notice!” But alas, I stepped on the machine, and began to work it out. As I started jogging away on the machine, I noticed that I started feeling better and better. Soon what I thought was going to be a light workout started turning into an all out-- give it all you got work out….It was funny as somewhere in the back of my mind I heard the whiner say softly “hey……you tricked me…..” Then very audibly---as I was the only one in there—I said, “GET OVER IT!” and so I did!! I felt great afterwards!!!

Check in #7

Once again it is check in day, and today I weighed in at 183lbs!! I know I should be feeling really great about my self, but I just feel okay. No heart flutters or mental fireworks at my achievement, just an Okay feeling. I don't thinks it's a bad thing, I think it just means I have become complacent. This week I really want to push myself! Today I ran 3 miles on the Eliptical Machine in 28 minutes, which means I burned some 250 calories. By Friday, I hope to increase the distance to 3.5miles. In addition to my Eliptical workout I also have been doing my ab routine immeaditely thereafter.

I have developed a sort of pyramid crunch work out using my Stability ball. I have one of those big red medicine balls, with that I do the following: I sit up right on the ball and begin to move each hip up and down (kinda like a wiggle) for about 15 seconds, then I rotate my hips in on direction for about ten seconds, then I change directions for another ten seconds, then I roll down on the ball very quickly so that the ball is at the small of my back and I begin to do crunches (always keeping my abs tight.) I do about 30 crunches then stop and repeat the wiggle/rotate process, then I do 25 crunches, and so on and so forth until I get down to a 5 crunch set. In the end you will have completed 105 crunches!!!!Its pretty fun, and it works! You can definitely feel it. The key thing to remember though is to keep your abs tight. Do your best not to let you ab muscles push out when completeing a crunch but rather try and make sure they press down towards your belly button. I do this routine on my cardio only days. On the other days I do half of what I usually run, and then I circuit train in the weight machine room at the gym. I pick a different set of muscle groups each time I circuit train. Usualy I'll do all the ab machines and all the leg machines, and then the next time I do circuits I'll work my back, shoulders, and arms.

I have to admit after my work outs in the gym I just feel so great about myself! It's like I'm high on life! But I will also admit, it still takes a lot of mental cajoling to get me in there. However, I found that last week when I actually had no choice but to skip the gym, I felt positively terrible! It's what promted me to go further than the 2 miles I had been running in the past, and go for 3. I felt I had to make up for lost time. I discovered that I did have in me to go that extra mile! It was an awesome revelation! Hence whay I've decided to kick it up a notch in the gym.

Check in # 6

I'm a little late in reporting my latest check in, but rest assured it's only been because I've just been lazy! I have lost two punds as of my last weigh in, so that brings me down to 184lbs. I'm not really happy with that number as I thought I would have been able to lose at least ten pounds in a month....here I am in the 6th week, and I'm still only 184lbs from a strating weight of 190lbs. I just can't seem to get out of the 80's. I feel as though I've been on a rollercoaster. "Yea! I lost two pounds.....wait I just gained them back....oh here I go I lost them again....naw just kidding there still there---etched on to my ass. I'm getting super frustrated. I'm not taking Alli consistently anymore...but it's not becuase I don't think it's working...it's becuase I feel like I don't need it. In the beginning---sure I really needed it to keep me on track...but I have healthy eating habits now...I really don't need a pill to keep me on track...I have a conscience that seems to be doing an execellent job---Plus getting off Alli will ultimately be more cost efficient. I get to spend more money on buying cute work out clothes!!!
Yeah, so I'm a little irritable, but I also have to say it may be due to my TOM. It's here and in full swing. I'm sure I feel bright and perky again this time next week. I know I should be happy, at least I have gone backwards again...I'm just a little disaapointed that all my hard work has yeild such little reward. I've been busting my butt in the gym and eating really good. I just don't get it.....But then again--I lost a whole pant size...I weigh nearly the same, but I lost a pant size! Go figure?? I've come down from a 14 to a 12...Maybe I am building muscle....and as we all know muscle weigh more than fat...but the question is when will I lose the fat!!!?? Hopefully soon, becuase I'm realy tired of my scale hurting my feelings! For all of you out there who in the same fight, keep perserving...we will get through this---I just know we will! One day at a time....So until next time: Good luck to all!

Check in # 5

Well, yesterday was the actual check in date, but I decided to change it to Saturdays. However, will tell you what I weighed yesterday as well as today, but before I do I want to tell you how much I weighed on Thursday. I woke up Thursday morning, fully aware that the next day would be weigh in day, and I just wanted a sneak peak at where I was considering that I had that little binging episode. So, I stepped on the scale and to my delight it read 182!!! I was sooooo excited!!! That day I ran (on the elipitcal) 3 miles in 28.5 minutes! I was soooo motivated. Then on Friday, completely expecting to have maintained the previous reading or at least have lost a half pound, instead it read 186lbs!!! WTF!!!!! I couldn't believe it I weighed myself three times back to back! What went wrong???? I don't know, but it really bummed me out. Then I snapped out of it and totally relaized that weight fluxuation are completely normal. May be I was retaining water or something...may be I was a little bloated-after all my TOM is only a week away....But may be just may be I turn some fat into muscle. Muscle weighs more than fat. Either way I just had to calm down and not lose hope. I went to work, and continued with my dieting, but I did take off from the gym. I got home and in a desperate attempt of seeing the 182 reading, I stepped on the scale once again: it read 185lbs! I was thoroughly baffled. I have no explanations, other than life is fickle! So that brings us up to today-Saturday-I warily stepped on the scale with both eyes closed. After a few seconds, I open my eyes and peaked down at the number below. The scale read 184lbs...well at least it was better that 186lbs! I feel as though I've been on an emotional rollercoaster this week. I'm so glad it is over. Next week I know will be better!!! So until then, that's all for now.

BINGE

This week has been a struggle. It just started off all wrong, but I'm getting ahead of my self. As you may or may not know the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows occurred on July 21, 2007. I volunteered to take a co-worker's child to the Harry Potter Midnight Madness Party event. Before we got there My husband and I, decised it would be nice to treat the girl to a dinner at one of her favorite restaraunts --TGIF. This where it all started to get a bit sticky.....I looked on the menu and tried to order the most healthy thing possible. I wound up with Mahi Mahi---not bad...then I tried to order a low cal drink that wasn't a soda---I ended up getting a Strawberry Lemonade--which really turned out to be was a strawberry slurpy with a splash of lemonade---oh so yummy--but a completely questionable choice. So I didn't do so bad there.

Then it was on to the the Harry Potter Midnight Madness party!!! I did good up until around 11:30 pm. Both the girl and I got a little parched to say the least so I decided to indugle and we ordered some sort of Frappaccino like beverage. I did my best---I order a bluberry cream frappaccino thingy in the smallest size...which at starbucks is about 16oz. As I took the beverage I stared at it, and realized as a bought it to my lips that there are about a full days worth of calories in this single drink...and it's 11:30pm!! Night time is the worse time to take in a large amount of calories---there's no time to burn it, unless you work the night shift---I don't. I reasoned with my psyche that it is Okay to Splurge every once and while, but as I took each sip I could have sworn I felt a new dimple develop on my already luxouriously dimpled butt! I finished about half of the drink, and threw it away. So I saved myself somewhat from a huge set back.

Saturday was the MDA Live Ride---which we mamged to raise $1,100 for (thanks for all who helped out) I had gotten home around 1:30 am from the HP party and we had to up and running by 7am and out the door by 7:30am...needless to say there was no time for breakfast....We had a long day ahead of us. We drove about 150 miles to the MDA event destination...we arrived there around 1 o'clock in the afternoon...I had no snacks along the way. I was starving...once again I did my best with the meal the served. I chose a sic inch pre-made turkey sub. It was the best darn turkey sub I've ever had---though I knew why: REAL MAYONAISE!!! OMG!!! then they also gave us an ice cream bar!!! HAAGEN DAZ!!!! HOLY CRAP, I was in trouble...I ate about 1/4th of the ice cream bar which contained 290 calories! Then when we got home, for dinner I made my low fat chicken enchiladas which have about 110 cals per enchalada. Not too bad.

Your probably wondering where I slipped up....Well, Sunday was pretty uneventful I woke up so late my brunch was a bowl of Corn Flakes, and for dinner I had my subway usual--turkey. It was Monday that really screwed me up. My husband, the dear soul that he is, had to go on another overnite TDY. It was on this day that i could not stop my self from BINGING!!! I felt horrible--even while I was doing it!!! I couldn't stop it! I shovel handfuls of chex mix in to my mouth, and I ate two Fruit Bar back to back!!! I even started shoveling condy down my gullet!! Grant I was bingin on diet stuff---it was still bingin none the less. I felt powerless, and ashamed. Even though my "Binge" still did not exceed my caloric max for the day--it still made me feel utterly wretched!!! So for the rest of the week, I pumped it up it to high gear and regained my discipline. I 'm still working out--about everyother day, I'm trying to burn at leat 200 cals each trip to the gym I make. I feel nervouse about to tomorrows weigh in, but I know it's something that I have to do.

Check-In #4

It is Check in day again, and I am extremely happy to report that I weighed in at 183lbs!!! I've lost 3lbs!!! I'm soooo happy! I can't believe it!! Well, I'm not thaaaaaaat surprised, and I'll tell you why. On Tuesday afternoon I got sick....and I don't mean with a cough! I was worshipping the porcelin gods in a whole new way! I know it wasn't due to treatment effects---I've been eating really good...well good enough...I ate a 6 inch subway turkey sandwich on wheat for lunch (with pepper jack cheese, cucumbers, banana peppers, black olive and mustard) which is no different from what i always order, and I had a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. So, all in all I ate healthy...but yet I still got sick...I did have a headache the ENTIRE previous weekend, so I think my body was fighting a bug, and it got flushed out of my system literally on Tuesday and Wednesday. So then I step on the scale today and found that I had lost three pounds!!! Like I said I wasn't too surprised, and you wouldn't be either had you been around Tuesday and Wednesday!!! LOL***

Anywho, Tuesday was our second game, and once again Arctic Storm was unable to taste victory. I sat out as I was obviously in no condition to be running around bases even with Immodium AD. We started off strong in the first half, and then the team just sort of fell apart in the second half! It was devasting---nobody was talking to eachother on the field!! Well at least we learned our lesson-- COMMUNICATION is key! Anyway, to all my other compratriots in the battle of the Bulge, Good luck and I hope for your success!!!

Muscular Dystrophy and Me

Please help us raise $5000 by July 21! Please donate to our cause:

Hello all!!! My husband and I have recently decided to champion a cause! We are participating in the House of Harley Davidson's Ride for MDA! The Muscular Dystrophy Association is a voluntary health agency -- a dedicated partnership between scientists and concerned citizens aimed at conquering neuromuscular diseases that affect more than a million Americans.MDA supports more research on neuromuscular diseases than any other private-sector organization in the world. MDA scientists are in the forefront of gene therapy research and have uncovered the genetic defects responsible for several forms of muscular dystrophy, Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, a form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS, or Lou Gehrig's disease), childhood spinal muscular atrophy, and several other neuromuscular conditions.The following is a link to my husband's and I donation page, please take time to visit and donate:Click here to support OUR kids, Jerry's kids!

Check in # 3

So, today is Check in Day, and I weigh in at 186 lbs. Wooo Hooo!!! I'm sooo happy! I lost a pound Yeah Me!!! The funny thing is I had to strong arm my scale into my victory. When I woke up, I blearily walked into my bathroom, and proceeded to get undressed. I then stepped on the scale, and quickly glanced down to find that it read 187lbs. WTF!!!There must have been some mistake!!! I busted my ass this week, dieting and exercising---EVERY DAY!!! Perhaps the atmosphere in the bathromm scewed the reading (it is after all a digital scale) So I open the bathroom door, took a deep breath, thoroughly exhaled, and stepped back on to the scale.....186lbs!!! I knew it! Damn micro- climates!!! So now I'm happy! 1 pound gone!!! wooo hoooo!
On another note, yesterday was Arctic Storm's (my kick ball team) very first game! We lost 3 to 1, but we all had a lot of fun. I can't wait until our next game!

Secrets of a Former Fat Girl

So, I just bought this book the other day, and I can't even begin to tell you how awesome it is!!! I love the sincerity of it! The author, Lisa Delaney, writes it just like it is! It's amazing to see such complete honesty. She doesn't pretty anything up as she reveals her story (her true life story) of her weight loss journey. While I wasn't technically considered over weight my entire life, I still can relate to her becuase it's not just about how she was physically, but also about how she viewed herself mentally. I don't want to come off as the woman's publicist, but I really do believe this is a fantastic book worth spreading the word about!! It makes sense, it's not patronizing, and it's completely doable! I wish all of you the best of luck in your battles with weight and self image. I'm hoping this book will just be another weapon in my arsenal against this war I'm waging with myself!

Here's what the critics are saying:

From Publishers Weekly: Despite her lack of medical credentials, "Former Fat Girl" Delaney (a freelance journalist currently writing for Health magazine) is convincing simply because she has not only lost weight but has kept it off. She has figured out how to go from size 16 to size 2 jeans and maintain a healthy, slim figure for decades. Instead of talking diets, Delaney focuses on motivation. It's essential to feel like you have control over your life; you have to believe you can change, she insists. After talking about the Jazzercise class that first gave her that "I can" feeling, Delaney offers some practical advice so readers can go beyond losing weight to realizing a better self-image. Keep your new eating/exercising regimen a secret, she advises, as family and friends may be surprisingly resistant to your changes. Be firm and exclude foods or situations you know you can't handle. Visualize the life you want for yourself. Even if her advice is not terribly new, Delaney mixes optimism and realism in such manageable proportions, she may give readers just the boost they need. (Apr.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

PROUD!

Last night my Husband had his monthly over-nighter TDY to Louisville, KY. So, when I came home from work yesterday, I didn’t have to rush to get dinner prepared or do anything for that matter (which is why I secretly enjoy this particular TDY). I do miss him; don’t get me wrong, it’s always a struggle to get to sleep when he’s not by my side in our big comfy bed. But anyway, instead of rushing to get dinner ready, I grabbed a bag of pretzels, plopped down on the couch and channel surfed.

I came across the Style channel. I’m into fashion, so why not? Well, surprisingly on this channel last night was the program “The Biggest Loser!” I decided to watch as one of the previous winners was considering joining my Kick Ball team (Artic Storm.) The programs’ theme song “Proud” got me thinking right away. I continued to watch, as I munched on tiny twist pretzels (ever mindful of how many I’m shoveling into my face,)the show focused on two family’s that were each in the restaurant business. As I watched them struggle, I kept thinking about what little I really am doing. It’s just not enough to diet and eat right. One of the heavier set women proved that after three months on her own, while maintaining a healthy diet, she didn’t lose a pound---BECAUSE SHE DIDN’T EXERCISE!

Oh man, it was like a slap in the face. What the hell! I’m doing all this hard work dieting, counting calories, and fat grams---and I’m just managing to maintain my weight. Which is NOT what I want to do! I want to LOSE weight! Every day I step on the scale (I know I’m not supposed too, but I can’t help it) and it tells me from one day to the next 185lbs to 187lbs back to 185lbs. I quickly closed the bag of pretzels and really started to pay close attention to the show.

The message was loud and clear: GET OFF YOUR BUTT!!! I watched as a 15 yr old girl who’s starting weight was somewhere around 249lbs, lose 64lbs! She didn’t by means of Diet, blood, sweat and tears! Okay, may be not blood—but you get my point. They played back to back episodes of the program so I got to see it from start to finish. The girls dad lost 82lbs! It was just amazing! I cried all night! But I digress…..the lyrics of that song stayed with me even after the program was over. I then flipped the channel to Discovery Health and the watched Big Medicine. As the program ran, I cleaned my house during the commercial breaks, and folded laundry throughout the program. I couldn’t sit still. I kept hearing the words. That program made me cry to too! Finally, I went to bed---before I did though I checked my weight 187.8lbs (hey it’s my TOM too) I went to bed…with the help of Simply Sleep and my allergy meds, and woke up energized! So much so that Today I went to the gym and RAN 2 MILES in 19 min and 22 seconds (on the elliptical of course). I burned 200 calories!

Apparently To lose 1 pound, you must burn 3500 excess calories (500 calories per day over the course of a week). One-half to one pound per week slow weight loss promotes long-term loss of body fat. If you reduce your calorie intake by 300 calories a day and increase your activity to burn 200 extra calories per day, you can expect a steady weight loss of approximately one pound per week. So, If I keep this up I know I can make my weight loss goals become a reality!

The Biggest Loser Theme Song : "Proud"
by Heather Small

I look into the window of my mind

Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind

I step out of the ordinaryI can feel my soul ascendingI am on my way

Can't stop me now

And you can do the same

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

It's never too late to try

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

You could be so many peopleIf you make that break for freedom

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know

Realise that to question is how we grow

So I step out of the ordinary

I can feel my soul ascendingI am on my way

Can't stop me now

And you can do the same
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

It's never too late to try

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

You could be so many people

If you make that break for freedom

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

We need a changeDo it todayI can feel my spirit rising

We need a changeSo do it today

'Cause I can see a clear horizon

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

'Cause you could be so many people

If you make that break for freedom

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

What have you done today

You could be so many people?

Just make that break for freedom

So what have you done today to make you feel proud?

Check-in # 2

Well, this morning I woke up with a sense of dread and forboding! It is check-in day, and I just know that the damage from this past 4th of July Holiday is going to be bad! The week started really good, I was eating good, and I even worked out---sooo much so that my body was sore through to thursday. Then Wednesday happened! 4th of July!!! My husband once again presented me with an offer I just could not refuse: "Want to get Cold Stone?" "NO!!!!!!! Well, maybe....okay, sure!" And thus began my downfall!!!! I stopped recordinng what I was eating, because I was shoveling junk down my gullet from that moment on! Buffallo chicken Sandwiches, a handful of bake cheetos, 90 calorie pack pudding, weigh watchers creamsicles! I was a snacking machine for two days straight!!! So, now it's Friday check-in day, and to my horror I have gained two pounds!! That's eight sticks of butter!! Oh well! Sometimes we stumble, the important thing is to get back up, dust your self off and continue on.

CHECK IN # 1

Well, today was my first scheduled weekly check in. I now weigh 185 lbs, which means I have lost 5 pounds since weighing in at 190 lbs on June 20, 2007!!! I can't believe it!! I'm soooo happy!! I have to admit when I stepped on the scale on Jun 20, I freaked out!!! It was then that I realized that I was in serious trouble!!! I was one holiday season away from 200 lbs!!! TWO HUNDRED POUNDS!!! So that's when I decided enough was enough!!! I started the Alli program. It's not this super intensive program that is a shock to your system, but rather it is a slowly but surely method!! As you can see, for those of you who don't feel that 5 pounds is significant: 2 cups of butter equals 1 POUND:

So, for all of you dieters and gym rats who need a pick me up after discovering that you've only lost 2 lbs, next time your are in your fridge, grab a stick of butter or two to get a feel of how much weight you've actually lost. My next check-in is scheduled for 6 July 2007. This past week I have only been dieting, but this comming week I'm going to be incorporating exercise. I'll keep you posted on how things go! Below I have posted my Nutrition log for the past week (yes I know I need more water!):

Sabotage!!!

This past weekend I was Sabotaged!!! My husband, unconsciously (i hope) sabotaged me! So, okay, I made the revelation that I'm taking Alli and that I want to get serious about losing weight, well, my husband decides that on Saturday he wants to go out to Moose's Tooth (our favorite pizza joint), then after that Cold Stone Creamery!!!! AHHHGGGG, I'm still weak!!! I can't and don't fight it, so off we went! At the pizza joint I order the healthiest pizza short of the veggie one- I ordered a chicken pizza with spinach, a little cream cheese and bacon bits. It was gross, but we ate it. Afterwards at the Ice cream shop I ordered a fruit smoothie, instead of an ice cream, where as he orders this decadent peanut butter, chocolate, and birthday cake dessert!!! The BASTARD!!! LOL!!! Well, the next day we ate left over pizza, and I made enchiladas---not a good idea!!! Though I hadn't taken Alli since Noon the previous Friday I still had it in my system on Sunday evening--so I got the yucky pleasure of experiencing the treatment effects!!! Nasty, crampy, bloated, gassy, diarrhea!!! I got through it fine, and it renewed my conviction to stick to a healthy diet!

I don't think I'm ugly, but I would like to my legs actually look like legs and not the tree trunks that they are. And if anyone can help me find my ankles I'd sure appreciate it! (**LOL**) Oh and my Knees seem to have gone missing as well!!!! For those of you, who look at माय स्ताट्स and think, "She's sooooo not fat!" or "What in the hell is her problem, she ain't fat, why I'm bigger than her!" Well, I don't mean to offend anyone, I am proud of my body I just want a better one....is that so bad? Plus according to the BMI index I am considered OBSESE!!! Obese is such an ugly word....but it took that word to realize that I'm on an unhealthy path frought with all kinds of medical problems down the road. I've decided that I need to make a change, and I believe Alli and the support of my sister will get me through this journey of transformation.

Spilled the beans!

Today, I spilled the beans, and told my husband my intentions to use Alli. He initially was resistant to the idea, saying that I don't need a pill to help me lose weight. He also expressed his concerns over the treatment effects. I assured him that I was well aware of the possible side effects, and told him that those were only consequences of straying from a healthy diet. I have absolutely no worries! I know that this plan is going to help me through to realize my weight loss goals!! I'm a stout 187lb 5 ft 5 in Puerto Rican woman on a mission!!! I will realize my goal of 140lbs!! And maybe ny dream of 135lbs!

FAT

All my life I have had my body scrutinized. Throughout my upbringing my father would tease me, and warn me that I was headed for obesity just like my mother and all of his sisters. Any foray into the kitchen would earn me some sort of sidewise glance or comment. My step mother even got in on the "abuse." As I would walk by her in shorts she would stop me and scrutinize the stretch marks behind my knees. She would also mark the jug of Kool-Aid/Juice to monitor my intake. She would even go so far as to hide food---as if I was some sort of glutinous eating machine. Mind you, at no point in my life have I ever been over weight. In fact, I have always been quite slender---not skinny mind you, as I have always considered my self thick, but never skinny.

Anyway, as I progressed through puberty, things got even worse. My dad would comment on how I was all "ass" and flat-chested. It was bad enough being teased at home, but then I had to hear it at school too. Apparently my "nappy" hair was of great public offense. So needless to say, I developed a few body image complexes, and as a result I decided that food was the enemy—I quit eating for a while, and that my hair was hopeless. As I grew into womanhood these complexes were hard pressed to shake. I had to accept the fact that I would never be the girl with the legs that just didn't quit, I would never be the girl with boobs worth noticing, and I would never be the girl with the corn-silk hair that people love to run their fingers through. But I was the girl with the cut butt! Ahhh, small victories!

Any way, my weight and figure however still for some odd reason was a subject of great interest for my family. Anytime I spoke to my father, step-mother, or aunts or cousins---everyone was more interested in how much I weighed rather than how I was doing. WTF!!! It's as if my importance was determined by the scale. Apparently, I'm some ticking time bomb waiting to explode into a glob of gelatinous goo.

So anyhow, I joined the Air Force. In the military physical fitness is a vested interest. In order to promote, as well as go on certain assignments you have to be physically fit or at least the number on the scale had to fall within the set standards. I did everything I could to ensure that my number was at the low end of the spectrum—at least the first half of my six year enlistment. When year four came around I put on a few extra pounds. I went from 135lbs (basic training exit weight) to 155 lbs (the max allowance for my height 5'5) by November of year four I found myself weighing 165lbs. I went home for Thanks giving, and the only thing my father could talk about was how fat I had gotten, and that I needed to hurry up and find a husband before it was tooo late. Nice~

When I got back from my lovely family Thanksgiving visit, I decided that it was time to take some serious action---obviously I was hideously obese. So, I found a little drug call Ephedra! Boy did it work! I lived off of Slim fast and Uncle Ben's rice/noodle bowls, I spent three hours in the gym just about every day, and I went from 165lbs to 130lbs in 3 months. I went back home in April, and now my father acted displeased at all the weight I had lost. He asked questions like, "What happened to you did you get sick or something?" He then speculated to my sister that he thought I was anorexic. I can't win for losing! I continued to take Ephedra until they banned it and pulled the product from the shelves. After that, I quit working out as hard, and my weight then plateaued at around 145-150lbs.

It was at this weight that I started dating my husband. Actually, I was 155 lbs to be exact. He had seen me around the gym when I was going through my gym rat ephedra induced phase---I guess he thought that I actually liked being there. Anyway, a year later I got out of the air force, and gained 10 lbs. I was unemployed living at home with my parents, away from all my friends, finishing up the last to semester of college on-line, while my future husband completed a year long tour in the Middle East. Once my future husband returned, I left everything behind, jumped on a plane with 2 small suitcases to start a brand new life with him in beautiful Alaska! This time I left behind all family and friends, all my household goods, clothes, pets, and any prospects for continuing in my chosen career field. So I gained 10 more pounds. I tipped the scales at 175 lbs, but damn if I didn't still look good!!! I felt good---I was depressed-yes- at being unemployed, away from loved ones, and unmarried, but overall I didn't have a terrible body image. Then things started to change.

My future husband helped my find a job, I made friends, I got married, and then I got pregnant. I gained 10 more lbs. At roughly 8 weeks I miscarried, but I still have not lost the weight, so now I weigh in at around 180-185 lbs. Shortly, after my D & C. I started going to the gym again---aerobic workout to get my mind off things---and my husband off my back---as he certainly has expressed his dissatisfaction with my weight---oh I'm sorry, he likes to say my health.

After a week and a half of daily aerobic and strength training exercise, I realized I was not quite healed from the D & C, and was in serious discomfort, and even spotting. So I quite the gym, and decided to take it easy. A week off turned into a month. I still have yet to return. And every time my husband comments on it---it just ENRAGES me. I mean the second he brings it up. I have tried to explain that I just can not talk about it with him. I have told him time and time again that my weight and body image are very sensitive to me, and he is very insensitive about it. He's made rude remarks and jokes, has even poked and prodded, grabbed and shook my fat, visually inspected me while naked---it's degrading. While he claims he meant only to motivate me, he has to see that it is hurtful and rude. Therefore, I made a decision not to discuss that topic with him---PERIOD. I explained to him that the subject was off limits. It is my body and my life. He quickly replied that it was OUR lives, and he had the right to choose how long he stayed with my body---I agreed.

The bottom line is that I will go to the gym when I want to go to the gym! I will ONLY do it for me, not for anyone else. Call me a control freak, but if there's one thing I like to be in control of it's MY body, and even in that regard I know there some things about it that I can't change. Every time I get close to going, "You know self, you really ought to get back in the gym—it really is time. I think I'll go next week!" My husband opens his mouth and ruins it….because that illogical spiteful/rebellious nerve in me ticks and says "NO! I'll do it on my terms, not YOURS!!!" Yes, I know it's stupid…we both want the same thing….but I can't help it. I don't want to be in the gym busting my ass resenting him for my being there. So here I am….I think I need to be on medication or something.